Adrift On The Ocean Floor

return & reflect

2011-12-24T11:37:00.000+05:30

434.

that's how many days it's been since the last post.

i stumbled back on this blog by mere coincidence. contemplating the year that's been and how different areas of my life has progressed, digressed and changed.

something i've learnt and come to accept is that time changes everything. be it a relationship that you were absolutely positive would come to be the staple of your life or be it your perception on how the world rotates and functions. 2011 was a weird year to say the least. there are flashes of memory that i hold quite fondly and some that i would sooner forget.

one thing i am proud of is the expansion of self to slowly yet surely get to know an amazingly humble bunch of people. even though one would think it is quite the norm in life to meet such people, for someone who'd rather stay in the background more often than not, it was quite the achievement.

what puzzles me, however, is that despite this there are still moments (or dare i say quite a few moments) when you do feel quite truly alone.

in the past year i've released an EP. it was one of the proudest moments of my life. seeing something i hold very personal come to pass. it wasn't an extravagant affair. nothing related to me ever really is but it felt fulfilling to know that i had worked on something for close to an year and with the help of a couple of other individuals it was possible for this project to see the light of day and to be received by quite a handful of people in a very positive manner.

as of now i still feel like i'm floating. drifting on an ocean floor. the only difference is contentment in the fact of knowing that time changes everything. knowing is an advantage in the playing field. it leaves you (half) prepared for the biggest shocks and surprises life has to offer. for the most part there's a positive vibe in my thought process and for this i am grateful. i can only hope that it prevails for as long a time as possible.

the shadow indeed proves the sunshine.

a merry Christmas to all who read this post and a truly happy new year.

in limbo.

2010-10-26T11:48:00.000+05:30

Garamond has fast become my favorite font.

Right. Just thought I'd get that out there before anything else plus blogger doesn't support Garamond -_-

Anywho, its been an interesting month or so, I'm not exactly sure how I would describe it. I suppose I could say things have officially been shaken up alot. I honestly would not have been able to handle all the constant new challenges thrown my way right now, say a good couple of years back. That being said I'm barely managing to keep up with each and every development and fear the moment something goes amiss or I end up choking someone in all the confusion.

In an effort to bring some clarity to my daily activities I've managed to segregate the afore mentioned into four main areas in no particular order. (Which is ironic since my previous post stressed on how labelling things is, IMO, the basis for all human strife)

College. Work. Music. People I Love.

College has been a growing concern in the recent weeks with an increasingly difficult problem looming in terms of finances, which almost made me flunk exams. On the bright side a recent strategy has been formed to tackle this and I have also managed to pull through QUITE well so there's a silver lining i suppose.

Work has become increasingly demanding with people laying their expectations on me and while I've told myself to be open to and stop doubting the challenges laid out for me, I also have a lingering feeling of breaking down at any given time. For the moment I'm staying afloat.

Music. Aaah. Well. First of all I'm suffering a bit of writer's block -_- which is not at all pleasant considering I've promised to write a piece for a friend of mine who's got quite a promising band. Apart from that I've taken a bit of a break before I go full steam ahead. Waiting till I get new equipment (Awsome!), which has made me super broke (Not so awesome!), to help me record my next planned EP, which incidentally I think would be a joint venture with my bestie (Supah talented!) who's coming down to Lanka in December. So stoked to see what we could churn out.

Apart from this I think I've been putting stuff out at a rate which can often affect the quality of the end result. For the next bunch of recordings I've been contemplating taking a more traditional approach of revealing them once the whole EP is completed. Many plans in that aspect, after all, music has always been my breath of fresh air, away from all things daunting. :)

Just to show how talented my bestie is check out her cover of a much loved Iron & Wine track called "Each Coming Night" on the following link:

http://soundcloud.com/surid/each-coming-night-iron-wine-cover

Also feel free to check out my bud CC's band Salvage. They got tonnes of potential and are easily one of my favorite local bands going around at the moment.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Salvage/122461904935

And finally the people that I love. Sigh. With all of the above keeping things hectic, I must admit I've slightly neglected being there for them when they've needed me. Not to say I haven't tried but I could do better. And I honestly hope to set that record straight going forward. After all whats the point if you can't be there for the ones you love in good times AND bad.

Cheers.

P.S: Hope you don't see me dragged off in a strait jacket anytime soon.

What Am I Listening To Right Now?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8aPyBr-_S0

Beauty Personified :)

never.end.

2010-09-22T11:01:00.002+05:30

"We live in a world where the very core of every single movement we make is tagged with a name. A need to understand why they are the way they are, instead of accepting diversity and the fact that it exists. When faced with a lack of comprehension, the human thing to do is to strike out blind, clutching to the straws of what we've been taught is "right" through years of our existence because we know no better. It depresses me when I think about it, that i realize there simply will never be a resolution to conflict. We will face these struggles for years to come, for with diversity comes a price, a lack of acceptance,

be it his religion, her sexuality, my color, your race, their appearance, our mannerisms. the list is endless.

the price you and i pay for simply being different."

P.S: Sorry, I was just feeling slightly bluesy today. I'm not naive to claim to have sight beyond sight but don't these things depress you too? =)

Never.End.

you stand before an alien plain,
faced with enormity of a change,
for lack of comprehension,
a face to blame,
you point your finger,
a face to blame.

they are different,
they should be feared,
they should be jeered
thats what you say,

after all,
what is termed as "right",
you've known for years,
who are they to change?

give yourself a name,
make yourself a face,
a thorn amongst the blades,
an urge to differentiate.

stand proud, stand tall,
a flag to protect us all,
a flag to go to war,
justifies your need to kill,
does it justify your need to spill.

shades of red,
on the ground,
dance a merry,
our crimes know no bounds.

a father throws out the daughter,
the son despises the mother,
yet they turn around,
self righteous citizens,
to throw blame on others.

she steps into the light,
he dares to be different,
for their patience has worn thin,
its time to change.

yet you stand disgusted,
"freaks of nature",
"they are polluted",
with blood on your hands,
you really should know better.

blame religion,
blame the need to pin,
a name on every single thing,

blame a nation,
blame a soul,
blame every living thing.

but in the end,
oh righteous self,
there's no one left,
So enlighten me,
why bother,
an end i cannot tell.
sigh.

sneeze like you mean it

2010-08-30T23:52:00.000+05:30

*aaaah. aaaaaaah. aaaaaaaaaah.*

*silence.*

*grin.*

*AAAAAATTTTTTCHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!*

mom : "How many times did I tell you to take panadol!@$!@$!%!@%!%!@$!@#!@#!"

*grumpy face.*

gah.

songs of neon hearts

2010-08-06T12:12:00.000+05:30

i am an anthem,
singing out loud,
will i be heard,
or drowned out in a crowd.

you are a force,
bright as the sun,
shine down upon me,
turn shadows of their guns.
turn shadows of their guns.

we are resistance,
haunted by our fears,
haunted by ours failures.
haunted by our own tears.

we are the human condition,
wounded by a cause,
i am broken and i'm most certainly weary,
but i'm singing songs of neon hearts,

we are a movement,
infinite shades of red,
for love is a color,
do you recognize it yet?

one in a million,
silent words of hope,
doesn't mean that you're jaded,
only means you're not alone.

we are the human condition,
wounded by a cause,
i am broken and i'm most certainly weary,
singing songs of neon hearts,

go sing, too loud, make your voice break, sing it out.

2010-07-25T19:22:00.002+05:30

As I'm putting down these first words, the melody of "Go Do" from Jónsi's solo album "Go" is floating out my speakers. I was literally compelled into writing about how inspiring this work of art, yes art, is. Normally I tend to plomp any musical inspirations on my facebook status for the world to see, in hopes they would be inspired by the same. But this album seemed to deserve more than just a random line on a status.

From the opening track "Go Do" the first thing that strikes you about this album is the uplifting, ambient emotion and feeling that the music is able to pull out of you. The instrumentation and vocal dubs are beyond amazing, the lyrics relatable. This is probably the most uplifting and inspiring opening track to an album that I have EVER heard in my life. Nuff said. "We should always know that we can do anything".

The opening track has to be one of my favourites off this album which then spurns off into the 2nd track
"Animal Arithmetic", which literally feels like you're a Bee buzzing through a hectic field of golden corn, such is the vivid picture the music manages to paint in your mind as you close your eyes and listen. Jónsi's high soaring falsetto vocals are inspiring and somehow in the middle of all the hectic, energetic madness of the arrangements, manages to stay extremely humble and endearing. Here is another artist that I can truly believe means every single word he sings out. "I see you colorful, I see you in the trees, I see you spiritful , You're in the breeze."

With "Tornado" the album dives from dizzying aerial heights to a single piano set against Jónsi's endearing vocals. Slowly yet surely, a string arrangement seeps in, coloring the melody with vivid images. Drums fill in the spaces to bring about an epic sensation to the track, with the string arrangement weaving in and out between the emphatic beat. Its every bit as moving as anything else you would find on this album. It ends with a crescendo of Jónsi attaining remarkable falsetto vocal heights, which then fade into a space. "I wonder if i'm ever allowed to see, I wonder if I'm ever allowed to be free."

If "Tornado" was a dip into sadness, "Boy Lilikoi" is anything but that. One of my many highlighted favourites off the album and possibly all time, its a tune which toys with the colorful emotions, exploding into a million wavelengths of illuminations. It literally feels like a rush of adrenaline, speaking of a boy who grinds and claws his way through, rushes through the world surrounding him.

"We all grow old, use your life
The world goes and flutters by
Use your life, you'll know you are
Use your life, the world goes and flutters by
Use your life, you'll know you are"

The wave of vocal overdubs on "Sinking Friendships" immediately takes you to a dreamy land, accompanied by playful glockenspiels. Another song that slows down the rush the album provides tempo wise but keeps the anticipation of something catching you completely off guard with random explosions of musical madness. "We should all wear two lifesaving layers, We should all wear two..."

Being of Icelandic origin, Jónsi's main work with Sigur Ros has always been icelandic material except for one english penned number. A suprising turnaround in this solo venture is him diving into a language which surely must seem foriegn to him, but even more suprising is how well he's managed to capture the intended emotions for a first dig at the language. So now we see two tracks on the album where he reverts back to his more comfortable tongue with tracks Kolniður and Hengilás, the former being another uplifting melody with a language which unfortunately might as well be foriegn to me but still seems so familiar, whereas the latter is the closing track on the album. Such is the abillity of the music to draw you in, that language does not transpire to be a barrier.

Erractic and spontaneous, much in the vein of "Boy Lilikoi" and "Go Do", is "All Around Us" which seems to emphasize Jónsi's aim for creating a truly breathtaking album which never lets up even in its quietest moments. The chaos of this tune eventually gives into a pensive and beautiful listen titled "Grow Till Tall". A tune which bears its soul in all its innocence, words which talk about how "You'll know when's time to go on, You'll really want to grow and grow till tall, They all in the end will fall". The beautful crescendo at the end of this track, leaves me personally wishing that this had been chosen as the closing track on the album purely because it seems to tie up everything in a peaceful little knot.

The final closing track is, as mentioned previously, Hengilás, which is as peaceful as "Grow Till Tall" and tends to feel to be befitting of a closing scene off of The Lord Of The Rings. Such is the serenity of the melody and the soothing effecting of the lyrics spelled out by Jónsi's vocals, which then trail off into a string arrangement which does (grudgingly) close off what has to be one of 2010's masterpieces. The whole album in one take is simply a truly remarkable journey provided by a, quite evidently, humble musician with the vivid imagination of a little boy.

Thank you to Suri for opening my eyes to this amazing work of art. :D

Making Of "Go":

"Go Do" Live:

Fickle Kings And Drama Queens

2010-07-10T20:52:00.004+05:30

Recent Progress Report:

a. EP "Fickle Kings And Drama Queens" is completed and can be found at the official FB Page.

b. Artwork and Design Concept for above said EP, soon to follow. I-Suri is currently working her magic.

c. College has started again. Plan to kickass has been set in motion.

d. Discovered an underlying passion for capture of motion, a.k.a photography.

e. Understood that there truly is light at the end of the tunnel. Relationships will work if you believe. Truly believe.

f. I am in a positive frame of mind. :D

Cheers!

A Split Second.

2010-06-05T18:23:00.002+05:30

Its been a while since I've come back here to blog mainly cos I didn't really have much to write about. But sitting around home today trying to aimlessly focus on studying with finals around the corner, my mind was wondering and it just kept returning to something I experienced just a couple of days before. It only reinforced my idea that music truly moves you and has the infinite capability to work wonders. I've always wondered how artists stand behind that mic every night and feel moved by the audience that appreciates their work day in, day out.

So it was on the 3rd June during what transpired to be a pleasantly clear night, a certain skinny (real skinny, need to seriously start putting some weight on :S) dude complete with an acoustic and a friend on piano stood on a stage with an irritating spotlight right on their faces, with quite a suprisingly significant and silent crowd surrounding the area.

But the cheers that followed the silence as soon as the words "Welcome to the planet." were uttered.

Well...the sense of happiness that followed during that split second..well..it's just incaparable :)

two-0-one-0

2010-01-01T02:38:00.000+05:30

happy new year to me,
happy new......................*cricket noises*.............oh..nevermind.

Happy New Year to..um..whoever might stumble across this post :D

nostalgia.

2009-12-29T15:20:00.000+05:30

Its been a two week layoff from work. Frankly I needed the break. Everything felt suffocating and mundane so it was good to finally break away from it all and completely isolate myself from something that was beginning to get extremely unnerving.

While I feel refreshed and back to a good frame of mind, the day before I return to work, I also felt the return of that familiar feeling of nostalgia and emptiness. For a while now I've known the reason for this usually stems from something along the lines of me wondering if I've achieved anything significant in my life. I find myself ruing time spent but lamenting over unfortunate circumstances as well.

Today I said goodbye to a long time friend, heading for college in the States. I couldn't help but feel that people were moving on with their lives, accomplishing something worthwhile, while I'm stagnated. "Selfish?" - I ask myself, but to be honest I really don't know. It isn't helped by the fact that I'm slowly starting to panic about the fact that I've just turned twenty four (Yes men usually panic when they hit 30 but I figured why not get a head start?)

I'm clueless about where my life is taking me right now and I wish it didn't have to be affected by circumstances beyond my control but that is how it is and its what I've accepted, but there are moments when that overwhelming feeling of hopelessness washing over you is just impossible to ignore. How you miss the times when your worst fear was if you'd miss the 4:30 cartoon on a Saturday evening.

Life was much simpler back then.

Cheers to nostalgia, how I love you so.

24.

2009-12-14T01:09:00.002+05:30

happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me,
happy birthday dear me,
happy birthday to me.

*claps*

you've got mail.

2009-12-07T01:54:00.000+05:30

Dear 16 Year Old Sela,

Well...hello there. Lets face it, you and I never did mince around too much with words. It was always in our heads, contemplating, pondering, swinging two and fro, wandering what the future holds. Well let me tell you that almost eight years later, remnants of all that still remains but you've become an entirely new person.

I know right now you feel utterly lost and insecure. Right now friends are people you hang out with 8AM through 2PM, girls are like the bermuda triangle, home is a sanctuary all to yourself and Robotech is the coolest invention in the history of mankind (We still think its ubber cool btw). You miss dad, you want mum to be happy and you desperately want to know how to make it work. You've also got no clue who you want to grow up to be though you always have a gut feeling you'd do alright alone.

Well you'll be extremely glad to know that we have now learnt to communicate more in social circles and not look completely dumbfounded. Although, my friend, strictly between the two of us, we're still having trouble breaking through the darned introvert sometimes, but we try. we try.

Oh and a little heads up, find yourself a guitar and start playing it. right now. Because you're actually going to be pretty decent at it and yes all those years of miming Bob Marley is going to come in handy. However what you thought was quite a hip dance that he pulled off was actually the result of weed. Yes i know. not cool. not cool at all. You will however switch your foot around and discover a new motivation that will lift you up every single time. Confused? You'll find out in a couple of years.

I would also like to assure you that all the definite heart ache, disappointment, shock and depression you will definitely go through in the years to come should be welcomed with open arms. Now before you think it, no we're not emo, black fingernails, fringe hair, guy liner sporting non conformists eight years down the line. But I can tell you that all that experience will make you the better person. a.k.a me.

You'll find the ties that bind will be broken, you'll find that when they are broken it will result in you understanding how the world operates, for better or for worse. It will make you treasure the ones closest to you and make you realize that family is not all its cut out to be.

I know you must be pretty alarmed by now so just to reaffirm that your life's not a tunnel with out a light at the end.Yes. You will run into this amazing little soul that will change your life.A little ray of bright sunshine, who will understand all your quirky behavior and love you for it. She will change you in the best way possible. And don't worry, four years down the line and she's a keeper :)

So 16 year old sela, with this little insight I bid you good day. Hold your scrawny self straight and steady. Believe in yourself, and give yourself more credit than you do right now. I know that I wish we'd had a guiding hand when I was You but you know what, we're turned out alright :)

I'll see you at the finish line kiddo.

Muchos Love,
Me.

P.S : Yes we still ponder our future and talk to ourself while we take a dump early in the morning. Somethings just never change. ;)

Many thanks to Suri for tagging me and letting me do this. And I tag Alien in Singapore and Centre of Chaos to carry on the deed.

all my heads are tails.

2009-11-15T14:30:00.001+05:30

Its not often that i give into negativity. In fact I think its ridonkulous how I fail to see the negative side of things sometimes. But lately I think I'm being beaten down into submission. It doesn't show on the outside but the heart's pretty heavy.

Now usually you would be able to pinpoint an exact thing in your life that is going haywire and you could try to fix it but at this point I'm pretty much a sitting duck from all possible sides and I got no where to run. I can't even sing my troubles away , like i usually do,because of a troublesome cough. Go figure.

The human condition is such that if there's hope we'll grab at it with both hands. I am currently looking for that. Hope, my friend, come around sometime, we need to grab a nice warm cup of tea and have a long chit chat sometime. Till then Switchfoot's new record "Hello Hurricane" is my saviour, heck it might even be the hope i'm looking for. "Hello Hurricane, you can't silence my love".

The One That Started It All.

2009-11-13T02:25:00.002+05:30

So I wanna be able to come back to this post in a couple of years time and say this is the one that started it all. Whether that happens. Well it remains to be seen. I, like a majority of people i know, had avoided succumbing to the lure of blogging. I can very well understand the pros and cons of it, but I just felt uneasy knowing that I would be jotting down random perhaps meaningless thoughts and letting a bunch of strangers pick out pieces of me.

But as it happens, I got nothing better going on at the moment so I figured its better than roaming endlessly on the net at 2:00AM in the night wondering where my life is headed. So here I am. The One That Started It All.